


Turnabout is Fair Play

by captainbrig



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Gen, MammaMay and her Ducklings, Melinda May is a Prank Queen, Pranking, philinda if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 08:49:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5242169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainbrig/pseuds/captainbrig
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Melinda May pranked the members of her team, and one time they pranked her (kinda).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turnabout is Fair Play

**5\. Fitz**

The first time May pranks Fitz, it’s with the classic shaving cream in the palm smeared on his face. It’s funny, and elicits rounds of laughter as he accuses the rest of his teammates, especially Skye.

The second time she pranks Fitz, it’s with a gigantic box on the table in the lab, with big, bold, black letters stamped on the side reading ‘CAUTION: LIVE ANIMAL’.

Fitz had immediately gone nuts, claiming that Coulson must have finally, finally, listened to him and gotten them a monkey. He could even hear the adorable monkey noises coming from the inside!

“Agent May! Agent May! Look! Coulson finally bought me a monkey!” he shouted from inside the lab as she was walking past.

“Fitz…I don’t think that Director Coulson-,”

Fitz pried open the lid of the box, finding a…not monkey. Well, it was a stuffed monkey. It looked a bit like Curious George, actually. At the bottom of the box was a tape recorder, which was what the ‘adorable’ monkey noises were coming from. He visibly deflated. This had to be the work of Daisy. Or maybe Jemma. They were always making fun of his love for monkeys.

May did feel slightly bad when she saw how disappointed he was to find the Curious George stuffed toy instead of an actual monkey. Knowing that he slept with the toy curled up into his chest helped a bit, though.

**4\. Daisy**

Daisy hummed contentedly as she plopped down onto the couch and opened her laptop. She gasped, however, when she quickly discovered the Blue Screen of Death. She spent about fifteen minutes sobbing, and it took her another half hour before she realised that someone had changed her background and moved all the icons out of frame.

She had questioned everyone, (her initial guess was that it had been Fitz, as he’d obviously have the right technical skills to hack her computer) but so far, everyone had denied touching her laptop. The only people left were May and Coulson. She strode quickly into Coulson’s office, finding both of them working diligently on paperwork.

“Did either of you touch my laptop?”

Coulson looked up confused. “Of course not. Neither May nor I have left this room. We’ve been too busy,” he said with a puzzled frown.

She nodded. Of course. May and Coulson were busy trying to track down Ward, of course they wouldn’t have time to play childish pranks. She was definitely positive that it was Fitz anyway.

**3\. Hunter**

Hunter whistled as he jogged down the steps and into the laundry area of the Playground. He opened the washing machine to find all his beautiful white shirts and underwear turned pink. He rooted around, finding the offender- a scarlet sock. He gasped in outrage and flew back up the stairs and into the common area, finding Jemma, Daisy, Mack and Fitz gathered round the television and playing video games.

“Look at this! Look at this monstrosity! Who did this? All my clothes are now pink!” he said loudly, fisting one pink t-shirt and the red sock and waving it around maniacally.

“Real men wear pink?” Daisy joked. This elicited a round of giggles and chuckles from the rest of the people gathered.

“Should buy my own bloody washing machine,” he muttered angrily. “It’s better than always having to share, anyway. I don’t need to know what kind of underwear you all wear,” he finished, pointing at all the women in the room, ending with May who was standing leant up in the doorway, having silently approached when she heard him shouting. Melinda looked over at him with a tinge of disgust and irritation, giving Hunter an annoyed eye roll. From that expression alone, Hunter knew that May couldn’t be the culprit. Obviously, she didn’t have the kind of time to putter ‘round and mess with people’s stuff. Now Bobbi, on the other hand...this was exactly her style.

 

**2\. Jemma**

Jemma sighed as she rubbed her eyes and stepped outside of the lab. She padded into the kitchen in search of something to eat when she spotted a tin of butter cookies on the counter. Yum. Butter cookies were her absolute go to snack when she was tired and a little grumpy after working all day in the lab. She put some tea to steep, after all, tea always went well with butter cookies. She slid back over to where the tin rested innocently on the counter. When she opened the container however, instead of cookies, she got three colourful flying snakes that jumped up and nearly hit her in the face. She screeched briefly, before she began laughing, her face turning pink as she giggled breathlessly. This was probably the work of Fitz. After all, he had somehow gotten it into his head that she’d been the one to prank him with the Curious George stuffed toy, no matter how much she denied it.

Standing outside the kitchen, Melinda smiled softly.

**1\. Phil**

Phil hummed as he continued his bath, picking up his shampoo and scrubbing it in vigorously. He rinsed and got out of the shower, wrapping the towel around his waist and going for his toothbrush that rested on the sink. He cursed when he looked into the mirror. His hair was dyed entirely purple.

“Goddamn it, Melinda!” he shouted.

The only response he received was a full-on, genuine Melinda May laugh that he hadn’t heard in years. Somehow, that made the idea of walking around the base for the next three days with purple hair bearable.

**+1**

“This is a bad idea.”

“Come on, A.C. There’s only one person on this base who’s brave enough to prank the Director. It’s May! She’s pranked practically every single one of us, and it’s payback time,” Daisy said. Her fellow pranked colleagues were nodding, although Hunter looked a bit apprehensive. May didn’t really like him, perhaps he ought to sit this one out…

“Still, a very bad idea. May was _the_ Prank Queen back in the Academy. Whatever you try to give her, she’ll give you tenfold. Just keep that in mind,” he said, leaving his team to their plot their prank.

xxx

“It’s not funny, Phil.”

“I dunno, I think it’s a little funny. After all, you gave me purple hair, Mel. _Purple. Hair_.”

“They stole my clothes!” she said indignantly, standing in his office wearing nothing but his dress shirt. She watched his eyes linger slightly on her frame, but made no comment.

She had been staked out in the bathroom waiting for him to pass so she could force him to help her after their junior agents had stolen her clothes when she went to bathe. By the time he’d walked past the bathroom nearly two hours later, she was unable to stand being in the little room any longer and simply took his dress shirt to cover herself until she could get to her bunk and put on fresh clothes. At least, that had been the plan, until he’d pulled her into his office to presumably lecture her about her pranks.

“Well, turnabout is fair play,” he said with a small shrug. He would happily admit that he was glad to see a bit of her old self return, to see her loosen up a bit after Bahrain.

Melinda rolled her eyes. “I hate you,” she said as she folded her arms across her chest and glared at him.

He snorted. “You know, I’ve been hearing that phrase for roughly the last thirty years. I don’t think that you’ve yet to actually mean it,” he said with a small smirk.

“Whatever,” she huffed, “And I’m keeping this shirt.”

And if she just so happened to get back at the rest of the team by lounging around the base for the rest of the day in nothing but Phil’s shirt, well, he was right, after all. Turnabout is fair play.


End file.
